17th Century Government in a 21st Century World
Learn about our Lethargic Public Masters
Township Supervisor - Aaron Weasel
Township Supervisor - Aaron Weasel
Township Supervisor - Aaron Weasel
He takes the title "supervisor" seriously by following residents around and taking pictures with his phone... in case they are up to no good.
Township Clerk - Sergeant Schultz
Township Supervisor - Aaron Weasel
Township Supervisor - Aaron Weasel
He sees no evil.
He hears no evil.
We're not even really sure if he has a pulse.
Township Assessor - Someone whose mom got her the job
Township Assessor - Someone whose mom got her the job
Township Assessor - Someone whose mom got her the job
Ever wonder what it was like in medieval society when titles of nobility were passed from parent to child? Look no further!
Road Commissioner - Chris Donuts
Township Assessor - Someone whose mom got her the job
Township Assessor - Someone whose mom got her the job
He's our resident connoisseur of frosted pastries. Probably on the farm.
Township Services
Our Promise to the Taxpayers on Fiscal Responsibility
Our Promise to the Taxpayers on Fiscal Responsibility
Our Promise to the Taxpayers on Fiscal Responsibility
"Fuck you, pay me.
No, really, fuck you and pay me."
Looking for Emergency Assistance?
Our Promise to the Taxpayers on Fiscal Responsibility
Our Promise to the Taxpayers on Fiscal Responsibility
Surely you jest, that money is for us, not for you. We can't pay family members if we are spending it on providing services to you.
Job Openings to be Overpaid and Underworked
Our Promise to the Taxpayers on Fiscal Responsibility
Job Openings to be Overpaid and Underworked
Are you related to any township elected official and need cash for nothing? We are a true family owned business here!
Contact Us
Want to talk to us?
You can't. We won't even tell you who's on the board.
Phone numbers? E-mails?
Yeah, that's not happening.
Freedom of Information Act Requests
FOIA Requests are stalking and will be prosecuted to the fullest extend of the law. We don't answer to you, peasant.
Hours
Today | Closed |
Hahahaha, we don't actually go to the office. Get rekt, weebs.
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